Saturday, February 5, 2011

Nutella and the Lazy Man's S'mores

So I just stumbled on this today: Ms. Adventures in Italy and Bleeding Espresso are hosting the World Nutella Day, where across the world we collectively stick our fingers into the jar to get the last speck of the stuff stuck right at the bottom. (If I'm the only one who has ever done that, and the only who has ever struggled with too-short fingers longing for the bottom that is just too out of reach, then the world, apparently, has not lived.) I was first introduced to nutella (is it even a proper noun anymore?) when I was 9 or 10 in the Philippines, when a friend received a bottle from his parents working abroad. It was completely mind-blowing: spreading chocolate on slices of bread. For breakfast--waking up to candy bars! Who knew!?

But the apex of my nutella experience so far happened during sophomore year in college. Sitting around writing papers after papers during finals week, I had a sudden urge for s'mores. (I swear, it was the stress that was giving me the munchies and nothing else.) Toasting marshmallows and melting chocolate seemed too much work, and would take me away from procrastinating from my academic duty. But this did not resolve my hankering--the more I thought about the possibility of having s'mores but without the work, the more I wanted to find the solution. Fortunately, on my desk in front of me was a half-empty bottle of nutella, slowly being unconsciously consumed as a sort of ready energy source that does not require standing up. OK I realized, two out of three. (I have to accept the graham crackers as a given. All it really does in a traditional s'mores is to lie there and be slathered with sugar. It's, like, the epitome of lazy.)

Marshmallow fluff is another product that quite literally threw me into a whirlpool and made me question everything I knew about food. Previously thought of as cylindrical in shape, it shocked me that there could ever be such a thing as spreadable marshmallow. It's like sugar jam, except...well, really it's just sugar jam. Nevertheless, it completes the triad. I found the perfect lazy man's s'mores. And apparently, they're also vegan friendly! (Although, toasting the fluff and nutella kind of defeats the point of being a snack for lazy people. Putting any sort of fruit or nuts also requires work, and thus counterproductive.)

Long story short, my version probably sustained me for an entire month. It did not require me to go outside, did not require me to even stand up, and each bottle and a couple of boxes of crackers could last me a while. At first I thought that I would be sick of it by the end finals are over, but I kept eating it. However, the combination of laziness and a 400 calorie snack eaten two or three times a day didn't do well for my weight. I also stopped hanging out with my friends, going places, and seeing daylight. It was like a bad romance. From what I remember, during winter break I just decided to stay indoors in my underwear because I became convinced that my pants were trying to suffocate me. No, these s'mores do not cause paranoia and delusion, but one does try to come up with reasons--any reason--to continue eating them. Merely because I had to--picture a forced intervention--I moderated my intake and ultimately stopped eating them. After four years I am reminded of them again, and if not for the relative lack of popularity of the marshmallow in Italy, I would have ran to the store to buy the ingredients, make about ten sandwiches, sit in front of the TV in my underwear, and commence binging just for old time's sake.

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